My Ultimate Summer Bucket List And Why It'll Never Get Accomplished

Ahh, summer break. Some have been enjoying it for a few weeks, while others are falling asleep and waking up in their caps and gowns in anticipation of graduation. Whether you're in high school, college, or a post grad, summer is inarguably the happiest three months of the year. There are no weird roommates to put up with, no exams to study for, and virtually no stress at all. You can basically do whatever you want... or at least you think you can.

Here is a list of things I've planned to do every summer for the past few years and how they normally pan out:

1. Spend quality time with your family. Find out you won't be able to go on your annual vacation with your parents or your annual road trip with your grandma because you'll be too busy working or taking summer classes. Take solace in the fact that you'd probably be on your phone the whole time anyway.
2. Fall in love with a hot guy on vacation, only to find out when you get back home that he lives in the area. What is this, a Nicholas Sparks novel?! Psh. Does this kind of thing even happen in real life? 
3. Get so tan that people begin to question your ethnicity, but only after having a slight melanoma scare after a bad experience with a dirty tanning bed. I'm looking at you, Hollywood Escape.
4. Get a tan tattoo. Realize you are way too impatient to put a sticker in the same exact place every day.
5. Grow your hair out and become the modern day Rapunzel by buying weird shampoos and overdosing on biotin and prenatal vitamins. Get frustrated when nothing works.
6. Save up your money for a future apartment or sorority, only to spend it all at your local McDonald's.
7. Lose a ton of weight and get a thigh gap/chiseled stomach/whatever. #LOL
8. Buy a super cute pair of sandals, only to have them chewed up by your cocker spaniel who is probably part billy goat.
9. Start a blog in hopes that people will actually care enough to read about your uneventful life. Oh, the irony of this one.
10. Vow to read every novel in existence, only to realize how much less time-consuming it would be to watch the movie when it comes out.
11. Watch all your favorite shows and movies on Netflix. I'm going to call it right now and say this is probably the most achievable goal on the list.
12. Start training for 5Ks after your mom tells you she'll start paying for them, but realize soon after a 1 mile jog that you'd be dead if you had to run for your life.
13. Try to fry an egg on the sidewalk. That's just nasty.
14. Get a tattoo. Remember the time you almost got a matching tattoo with your ex-best friend and chicken out because you can't commit to something being permanently stuck on your body. Or friendships.
15. Go camping in your backyard. Go back inside after being eaten alive by mosquitoes within the first 5 minutes.
16. Create a bucket list with realistic goals you can actually achieve. Well, at least you tried.