Tuesday, May 27, 2014

My Ultimate Summer Bucket List And Why It'll Never Get Accomplished

Ahh, summer break. Some have been enjoying it for a few weeks, while others are falling asleep and waking up in their caps and gowns in anticipation of graduation. Whether you're in high school, college, or a post grad, summer is inarguably the happiest three months of the year. There are no weird roommates to put up with, no exams to study for, and virtually no stress at all. You can basically do whatever you want... or at least you think you can.

Here is a list of things I've planned to do every summer for the past few years and how they normally pan out:

  1. Spend quality time with your family. Find out you won't be able to go on your annual vacation with your parents or your annual road trip with your grandma because you'll be too busy working or taking summer classes. Take solace in the fact that you'd probably be on your phone the whole time anyway.
  2. Fall in love with a hot guy on vacation, only to find out when you get back home that he lives in the area. What is this, a Nicholas Sparks novel?! Psh. Does this kind of thing even happen in real life? 
  3. Get so tan that people begin to question your ethnicity, but only after having a slight melanoma scare after a bad experience with a dirty tanning bed. I'm looking at you, Hollywood Escape.
  4. Get a tan tattoo. Realize you are way too impatient to put a sticker in the same exact place every day.
  5. Grow your hair out and become the modern day Rapunzel by buying weird shampoos and overdosing on biotin and prenatal vitamins. Get frustrated when nothing works.
  6. Save up your money for a future apartment or sorority, only to spend it all at your local McDonald's.
  7. Lose a ton of weight and get a thigh gap/chiseled stomach/whatever. #LOL
  8. Buy a super cute pair of sandals, only to have them chewed up by your cocker spaniel who is probably part billy goat.
  9. Start a blog in hopes that people will actually care enough to read about your uneventful life. Oh, the irony of this one.
  10. Vow to read every novel in existence, only to realize how much less time-consuming it would be to watch the movie when it comes out.
  11. Watch all your favorite shows and movies on Netflix. I'm going to call it right now and say this is probably the most achievable goal on the list.
  12. Start training for 5Ks after your mom tells you she'll start paying for them, but realize soon after a 1 mile jog that you'd be dead if you had to run for your life.
  13. Try to fry an egg on the sidewalk. That's just nasty.
  14. Get a tattoo. Remember the time you almost got a matching tattoo with your ex-best friend and chicken out because you can't commit to something being permanently stuck on your body. Or friendships.
  15. Go camping in your backyard. Go back inside after being eaten alive by mosquitoes within the first 5 minutes.
  16. Create a bucket list with realistic goals you can actually achieve. Well, at least you tried.

Friday, May 2, 2014

35 Things I Wish I Knew Before My First Year Of College

If I had a time machine, I would have entered my first year at an actual university knowing that through the good times and the bad, it would still be a very memorable year, even with the many, many mistakes I made. However, I would've told my sophomore self to avoid certain people (the promiscuous, loose-lipped ex-best friend, the nice guy turned wannabe frat star), certain outfit choices (sweatpants every day, wrinkled t-shirts, dresses that leave glitter everywhere), and other questionable life choices (such as bleaching my dark brown hair with a $3 kit from Walmart). Here's what I wish I wish I could go back in time and tell my freshman/sophomore self:

1. Don't go into your first semester dead set on your major. You will more than likely change it.
2. Your first year of college will go by faster than you think.
3. Never, ever, EVER use box dye.
4. If you dress up excessively for your classes, you will be made fun of.
5. However, this is not a free pass to dress like you're homeless every day.
6. You will hate your roommate(s) after the end of the second semester. It doesn't matter if you were friends before.
7. Getting piercings or tattoos done in a small town is a very bad idea (especially if you get it done at your friend's apartment for free like an ex boyfriend I wish I never dated did).
8. People who constantly brag about getting drunk or high are people you don't need in your life.
9. Even if you deleted it, that Facebook post is stuck on the Internet forever and could come back to haunt you. 
10. Don't rush into anything your first semester.
11. Frat boys are pretty to look at, but they are not boyfriend material.
12. Most college boys in general are not boyfriend material.
13. Despite everyone you went to high school with getting engaged, most people in college don't even consider marriage until after they've graduated and have a degree.
14. The friends you went into your first semester with probably won't be your friends by the end of the second semester.
15. Classes can be retaken, and it's not the end of the world if you fail a test.
16. Order water at restaurants and tip your waiter generously (most of them are broke college kids, too).
17. Your school's cafeteria will save you from starvation, but nothing can save you from the food.
18. Since their salary comes from your tuition, it is your professor's job to help you as much as they can. Don't be afraid to ask them for help or extra credit.
19. Don't let anyone else define your self-worth.
20. People will talk. Let them, but act in a manner that will make everyone disbelieve what is said about you.
21. What Susie says about Sally says more about Susie than it does about Sally.
22. Other people are not against you, they are just looking out for themselves.
23. Social media stalking is a hobby that you'll spend a lot of time doing with your friends.
24. "Dress well, test well" actually works.
25. Go to church. Eat healthy, work out, and do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. You'll feel a lot better.
26. There is nothing wrong with using the university's counseling services.
27. Procrastination, especially when dead week and finals are around the corner, will make you hate yourself.
28. Even if you don't like him, give him a chance. Let him take you on a date. Enjoy the free meal/movie.
29. Being lonely doesn't mean you're alone, and vice versa.
30. Call your parents often. You'll miss them more than you think. 
31. Take lots of pictures.
32. Think about about what you say and post before it leaves your thoughts.
33. You're going to meet tons of people who are just like you.
34. Don't forget to have the time of your life.
35. Transferring schools doesn't mean "goodbye," it means "see you later."